What Could I Do To Make You Stop Loving Me?

As a mom, I oftentimes find myself at a complete and total loss when it comes to my strong-willed child. I have 5 children; each with unique personalities, but this particular child has me pleading the Blood of Jesus just about every moment of the day. He is very “visual” with his emotions, and they frequently look a lot like rage.

One night, after a massive meltdown and subsequent grounding, he said, “You are always mad at me.  I am a bad kid, and you always take my stuff away.”

I paused then, took a deep breath, and began trying to explain the principles of  good choices, consequences, and the purpose of discipline.

I said to him:

“Your choices are like seeds. Each good choice that you make is planted, and then a flower or tree grows up out of it. Each bad choice that you make is planted as well, but a weed grows up out of it. At the end of the day, don’t you want a beautiful garden?”

He looked up at me then; a look of contemplation on his face, and he said,  “Mama?” And  I’m patting myself on the back thinking, “Oh, this is good. He’s listening and we are about to have a moment!”  “Yes?” I outwardly reply to my now, much much wiser and learned,  little grasshopper…To which he responds, “I like this pencil. It looks like a rainbow,” and then, this child proceeds to snap said pencil in half, right in front of my face.

Internally, I screamed, “That pencil weed will look beautiful in your garden, son!” In reality, however, I just sighed and fell back into the couch feeling completely defeated. Again.

That night, as I put him to bed, he asked me, “What could I do to make you stop loving me?” As I fought back tears, I said, “Nothing! There is absolutely nothing that you could do that would ever make me stop loving you!” His eyes got really big then, and he cried out, “Mama! You’re just like Jesus!”

What happened next is something that has happened to me many times over the years: I felt God nudge me and say, “Hey, I’m talking to you too.”

This child; this stinkin, rotten, beautiful child, is such an ever-present reminder to me of how much my Heavenly Father loves me even as I test Him.  Even as I throw spiritual fit after fit, He loves me the same.   Even as I’m screaming and crying out, “Are you angry? Why did you take these things from me?!” He still loves me, just the same. 

I can picture Him trying to tenderly speak to me of the principles of reaping and sowing, as I snap my beautiful rainbow pencil right in front of His Face.  Why do we so often break the beautiful things before us?

In the calm after my heart’s storm, I can hear my own voice echo that of my child’s, asking, “What could I do to make You stop loving me?” And before the clouds even part, I can hear the gentle whisper of His Voice saying, “Nothing, my sweet girl. Absolutely nothing.” That’s Jesus.

What about you? Do you find yourself asking the same question?

No matter what you have done, or how many things of beauty you have broken before Him, His answer will always stay the same.  In His Love, He chose to have His own Body broken before our Heavenly Father, so that we may cease from our striving, and rest in this blessed assurance.

I challenge you today, to plant those seeds of good choices.

At the end of the day, and more importantly, at the end of your life,

“Don’t you want a beautiful garden?”

 

 

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20 thoughts on “What Could I Do To Make You Stop Loving Me?

  1. Beautiful earthly picture of heavenly truth. Selah. ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Recently, I had a realization about all of my imperfections and was feeling so undeserving of God’s grace. However, that moment of guilt, made such a greater impact on me, to know that He loves us so much to keep on loving us despite making mistakes constantly.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Amen! His grace is overwhelming at times. It’s hard to remember that we never earned it so we cannot lose it ❤️. I’m so glad you were able to believe that and march on!

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  3. I love this and can relate a lot. I have 2 boys and they are complete opposites. my oldest is very strong willed and it makes me sad at times but we talk through everything as much as we can.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It is BEYOND HARD raising a strong-willed child, but if we succeed in parenting them well they will be leaders one day, right? Right??? Isn’t that what they say? 😩🤣. Seriously though, mine is challenging but he is also the sweetest, funniest little thing. It’s hard learning you’re not boss 😉

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  4. This is amazingly beautiful. Thank you, for sharing. Just the motivation needed when those kids test us.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Reblogged this on Olufunkekolapo and commented:
    This really touched me. I hope it blesses you too.

    Like

  6. This was deep! I also have a strongwilled child. She is only 3. I cannot imagine when she is older.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think it probably looks different with each one, but it will definitely stretch your mama muscles ❤️

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  7. This is exactly how we are with our Heavenly Father and how He is with us.

    It sounds like you have your hands full, like mom had with my elder brother. I was the quiet good boy, he was the bad one and boy do I mean bad. Unfortunately he has not changed.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. It’s always amazing how different siblings can be while sometimes also being similar.. Each is their own person and gets things in their own time and way though.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. This is beautiful and a much needed message, today and everyday.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Awe thank you! I’m glad you enjoyed it 🤗

      Like

  10. Beautifully said; and the question of unconditional love is sometimes hard to understand when we so often break pencils in front of him. Thank you for sharing

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I have a strong willed child
    So I can definitely relate to this. I know it can be frustrating but what a beautiful moment you two shared!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Our strongest willed kids can teach us some of the best lessons. Yours words were beautiful and encouraging for us moms who have children like this.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. This was so good. I don’t have kids but have family with children and often think “this is how I am to God”. How many times do I beg him for things I want or He takes things away … and while it looks like punishment is for my benefit. Although it doesn’t seem that way … yikes 😆

    “Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.” Hebrews 12:11

    How awesome to be chastised because it means I’m His daughter.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! Yessss! He has spoken to me through my children more times than I can count!

      Like

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